Hello, October!

My favorite month of the year is here again. Welcome back, October! While I don't get out much anymore to enjoy the beautiful Fall colors of the trees, I will always love this time of year. Fall has always been my favorite season. It's just perfect in my opinion. I miss getting together with my late Mother when we'd go to our favorite spot out at Lake of the Woods in Mahomet IL. We both had a favorite tree there that we'd visit every Fall and just sit and talk together... I miss those times with my Mom... I don't really get out much anymore. I sort of lost the spark to do much of anything and became a home body as a result. Despite that? I will always love this time of year, it's always been special to me. There's just something about Fall that really speaks to me. The weather cools off and if you're lucky to be out among the trees in a wooded area, there's a wonderful smell in the air that only happens during the Fall season. I just love everything about it... I do miss getting out into nature but that's basically a thing of the past for me. I'm getting old and I have a lot of health issues so I just don't venture out like I used to. I still have my wonderful memories though.. I'll always treasure those. Anyway, I'm rambling. I just wanted to welcome my favorite month of the year. I honestly wish it could just be October all year round. That would be amazing!

Rest in peace, Peter Cullen...

Another huge part of my childhood is gone... the very voice of my childhood. This one really hurts... Peter Cullen (The voice of Optimus Prime) passed away. Peter is one of the few celebrities that I always hoped that I could meet one day just to shake his hand and simply say thank you for the wonderful memories and helping to make my childhood awesome. He voiced one of the first characters I ever latched onto as a kid. Optimus Prime was more then just a cartoon character.. he gave a lot of us kids hope back in those days... someone to look up to. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried when I first read the news.. it hurts... it still does. Him dying is like the last part of my childhood being taken away. All I can say is that I'm glad I grew up with his iconic voice... he blessed all of us Transformers fans with his words and he'll NEVER be forgotten. I'm really going to miss him...

Rest in peace, Peter...

Happy 250th Birthday, America!

Thanks to our Founding Fathers for having the courage to break away from tyranny and to the brave men and women of the armed forces over all these years for keeping this great nation safe and protected, we get to celebrate today. Happy 250th Birthday, America!

I miss you, Momma...

Another year has passed... making today 9 years that you've been gone, Momma. I can't believe it's almost been a decade since you left this world. It just doesn't seem real to me... It never has. Sadly, the fact remains that it is very real and it's never gotten any easier to deal with. I've accepted that it probably never will. I don't think it's ever really supposed to. You being gone has left such a massive void in my life... I know I say it every year on this day, but I miss you.. I wish you were still here. I would honestly give anything just to have a 5 minute conversation with you.. if for nothing more than to simply hear your voice again and to be able to laugh with you like we always used to. We were always in our own little world when we talked and I miss that more than you'll ever know... I miss my Mom, my best friend, and my other half. It was always you, Momma. It's no wonder I'm so screwed up these days. Half of me died the day you did. I just try to keep on keeping on because I know in my heart that's what you'd want me to do. There is so much more I could say but I think I'll end this here. I hope you know that you are loved, remembered, and sorely missed... Rest easy, Momma... I love you always... ❤️

Here's my song to you. I've listened to it every year on this day since you've been gone.

Happy Birthday, Momma...

Today was always a special day for not just you, but for me as well. I loved this day because it was the day you were brought into this world back in 1958. 20 years later you became my Mother and my best friend... While I don't always see eye to eye with our creator, I will ALWAYS be thankful to him for giving me the best Mom any Son could have ever asked for. My prayer for the day is that you're up there in Heaven with Grandma, Pappaw, and your twin girls celebrating this wonderful day together.

Happy Birthday, Momma... I love and miss you always... ❤️

Happy Mother's Day, Momma...

Today marks the 9th Mother's Day I've had to celebrate without you and it never gets any easier... It still hurts just as much as the 1st Mother's day I had to go through without you. This was always a day I looked forward to because it was special to me just as much as it was to you. First and foremost, you chose me and gave me life... You were the first love I ever knew in this world. You were always there for me through the good and the bad times... You were my voice of reason, my comfort, my safe place, my rock, and the person that kept me going in this screwed up world... We formed a special bond from day one and we had that bond up until your dying day... That was the worst day of my life and a huge part of me died right along with you... You were always my other half, Momma... it was ALWAYS you. I've cried an ocean of tears from the pain of you being gone... I know I'll never get over you being gone. I can't. It's just something I'm not capable of doing. I miss you more than you will ever know... I miss my best friend... I miss our talks and the time we got to spend together. I only got 38 years with you and it just wasn't enough. I know even if we had been lucky enough to get more time together, I still never would have been ready to lose you. I hate death... I always have. It breaks my heart that everything good in this life eventually goes away one way or another. I wish there was a way I could hug you one more time... that would do me a WORLD of good just to feel your love one more time because I'm lost without you, Momma... I just am. I pretend that I'm ok but I never really am. I've never been the same since you died... Billy Bob Thornton said this about losing a loved one: "There is a melancholy inside me that never goes away. I'm 50% happy and 50% sad at any given moment." and that is exactly how it is... that's grief. It comes in waves... Some days I manage to be alright, other days I'm drowning... much like today. I just want to say thank you for everything you ever did for me... I will never be able to thank you enough and even though today is no longer a happy day for me... It still means the world to me. I will continue to honor you and celebrate every year that I have left on this earth... Happy Mother's Day, Momma... I love you. ❤️

Happy Birthday to me...

Well... today is my Birthday. My old ass is 47 now! It kind of sucks that I have to spend the day alone but It is what it is. At the end of the day, I'm thankful that I'm still here. With all the heart issues I've been having I think it's a gift all in itself to say that I made another trip around the sun. I think I'm gonna spend the day playing World of Warcraft. Special thanks to my Brother for hooking me up with the new WoW expansion! Love you, dude!

Thank you, Charlie... RIP

I'm currently watching the Charlie Kirk Memorial and I have been touched by the worship songs so much so that I am rededicating my life to The Lord Jesus Christ. It's time I go all in and stop riding the fence. I have always believed in God but I have struggled all my life where religion is concerned. I've gone back and forth so many times now that I've lost count at this point. I remember talking to both my Mom and Grandma when they were still alive about this and they said I can't be on the fence... I'm either all in or I'm all out. Well, today I am choosing to be all in! I'm far from perfect, but I love Jesus and I believe in him. I am choosing to trust in him and live my life the way he wants me to.

From this day forward I am going to try my best to live the life God wants me to live. After what I saw online from the far left mocking, laughing, and celebrating Charlie Kirk's murder, I finally realized evil is very real and it's not hiding anymore... It's right out there for all to see. It's not even about left vs right, it's about good vs evil! We are absolutely living in the end times and I chose to be on the right side of things. I chose the side of good! I just want to close by saying thank you to Charlie Kirk for inspiring me and renewing my faith... You lead the way, Charlie... Rest forever in the arms of our Lord Jesus Christ and say hi to my Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa up there in Heaven... I pray with all of my being that I am able to join them when it's my time.

RIP Ryno...

I woke up this morning to find out yet another favorite of mine has passed away... Ryne Sandberg was always my favorite baseball player and he passed away last night. What is going on? This week has been AWFUL for celebrities that I always looked up to. First we had Ozzy.. 2 days later we had Hulk Hogan.. now 5 days after that we have Ryne Sandberg... This week has SUCKED! I'm so tired of death... Rest easy, Ryno... Thanks for the memories!

Rest in peace, Hulkster...

Wow.,.. just two days after loosing my musical hero, Ozzy... now my childhood hero is gone... 2025 sucks... This man brought me so much joy as a kid and on into my early adult years. He remained as someone I always admired and looked up to. I hate this... all my heroes are dying... I'm so tired of death... All I can say is thank you, Hulk Hogan... you helped make my childhood better. I said my prayers and I took my vitamins! I was all in with Hulkamania. I get that Hulk Hogan was just a persona, but what a persona! You were the best that ever did it! Rest easy, Hulkster. I'm gonna miss you...

Rest easy, Ozzy... You will be missed!

Wow... this one really hurts. I just found out that Ozzy Osbourne passed away today. I'm really at a loss for words because this man has been my all time favorite singer for as long as I can remember. His music has been a huge part of what makes up the soundtrack to my life and I personally feel there is no one else that did it like Ozzy did it. Not only has his music meant a lot to me but it was also a huge common bond that my Mother and I shared together.. our mutual love of both Ozzy and his music. Since she passed away back in 2017, every time I'd hear an Ozzy song I would smile because it reminded me of her. His music helped keep her memory alive for me so he meant even more to me. Now he's gone... While I never knew him on a personal level, his music impacted my life in a huge way and I'm really going to miss him... Ozzy? Thank you for the wonderful music you gave to the world over all these many years... Say hi to my Mom for me up there, Sir... Rest easy, Ozzy... you will be sorely missed!