I miss you, Momma...

Momma,

Well here we are again on the worst day of the year... The day I dread more than any other. It's hard to believe that five years ago today you left this world... I wish I could say that it has gotten easier for me to deal with that fact, but it really hasn't and I doubt it ever will. Losing you was the worst thing I have had to go through. I didn't just lose my Mom... I lost my best friend, my confidant, and the person I trusted more than any other. I truly treasured the bond you and I shared. Knowing you loved me is what kept me going. No matter what I went through or how bad things got at times, you were always there and had my back. I was so very lucky that I got to have you as my Mother. You will always be the greatest gift I ever had. While God and I haven't always seen eye to eye as you well know, I was at least always thankful to him for giving me you as a Mother... and I still am! I just wish he didn't take you away... I know we all have to die, It just sucks. Death will always be the part of life that I hate the most. It has always depressed me in knowing that everything has to end sooner or later. I feel like the grief of losing you will never go away, and maybe it's not supposed to. I read something awhile back that said: "Grief I've learned, is really just love. It is all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corner of your eyes, the lump in your throat and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go... Where there is deep grief, there was great love." I miss you more than you will ever know... Rest easy, Momma... I love you. ❤

- Your Son, Josh